{300th entry}
Whoa. I've finally reached the 300th entry mark. At long last... This will be my final entry at this url. Throughout the later part of last year, I was considering whether to change my url. But my friends and I couldn't think of anything suitable. So I decided to postpone it til I reached my 300th entry. It seemed so far away then.


Hmm. This blog was started at the end of 2004. To be precise, it was created after I came back from my 1st youth camp. For those who don't know, "Running after God" was the theme of the camp so ya... I've been blogging a lot more the past year? I only reached my 100th entry mark in April 2006. Then a few months later, I hit my 200th entry mark at the end of November. And now, 5 months later, my 300th entry. Dang. I should have rushed out a few more entries. Then can have my 100th entry and 300th entry on the same day but just 1 year apart. =p


My blogging style has changed a bit. The content of my blog has changed but not as much? My blog serves too many purposes. Sometimes, it acts as a platform for me to "talk" to others. Sometimes, it's a notebook for me to recount what happened. Other times, it serves as an outlet for my emotions. And recently, it serves as a place for my book reviews? =p But another change is that nowadays, I have more entries on my relationship with God and all. Yeps.


As to what my new url will be, I'm not too sure yet. I've shortlisted it down to a few. But as I hinted to mei, it won't be in English. Haha. Yeps. The next time I blog, it'll be on the new url. Ask me for the url? I might leave a link or something though. Depends on my mood. If I'm nice, I'll just provide a link. If not, then happy finding. I already gave a hint. =) Of course, you could always ask me. But whether I'll tell... Hmm. Actually, quite a high chance. Unless I'm feeling playful. =p


Wait. I've got another idea. Leave this blog alone and start a new one. So each 300th entry, a new blog. Hmm... See how things go? But the one thing that's confirmed, I won't be blogging at this url anymore. Mhmm... That's all. Bye! =)

---

{eventful tuesday}
Was recounting to mei how my day started off quite nicely actually.


Have I mentioned that I get to see the sunrise almost every morning? Ok. Corrections. I don't get to enjoy the whole process but I see the sky when it's filled with various shades of pink, orange and blue. Really pretty. When I left my house this morning, I looked out into the sky and as usual, was just captivated by the colours. Spent a few minutes trying to get a few photos with my handphone camera. Too bad my phone can't capture the colours as vividly as I see them.


While waiting for the bus, my MP3 player started playing "We're all in this together". Normally, I would just skip the song or something since all of us have heard it too much last year? But today, I just let the song play on. It was the right choice. As the song played, I started picturing either the show or our performance. It was really enjoyable just to reminisce about last year's concert. I kept smiling to myself while mouthing the lyrics and had to control the urge to do the actions. Was doing the actions mentally though. =p Mhmm. Yeps. =) You few, up for staying up after CCA ends? Maybe blast music in a classroom and revise for our exams together or something?


Erm. Got woken up in an unusual way. As in, I was no longer sleepy after I reached school. Haha. I shall not go into details. If not, I think I'm going to be "lectured" by more than one person? Heehee.


Cell biology. Hmm... Yay! To my group mates, great job! =) Considering that we finished everything yesterday. Chinese. the usual? Lunch. Whee! It was pretty fun? Haha. Maths. Viva. Oh well. I really should revise for the maths test. =p Art. Hmm... We got briefed about our mid-year exam. The format, the topics tested, etc... Hopefully I don't mess my exams up. Was dismissed one hour early so went down to the table outside the music room and just did my homework. Quite happy that I could finish up chinese and start on maths. It's quite interesting to observe who walks past. Most of the time, I would see various people walking past and then I'll just go back to my work. Fortunately, no one came over to the table. =)


Ok. That ends my recount of the day. As usual, time to address some things. To be really specific, the same issue that I've blogged about quite a bit since the start of the year? On the way home, I was thinking about some things that someone said and I just typed out what went through my mind in my handphone now, and for the first time ever, I'll type it out on my blog.


Hmm. I think it surprises people that I still dwell on that issue a lot. And more than one person has pointed out that I can control my feelings. I agree, but to an extent only. I'm human. The thought of having the opposite response has crossed my mind. But hey, as I said in my previous note, I rather hurt myself than hurt others. And that aside, I've made various promises and there are some things I live by. Things that have long been part of me. It's what defines me. My beliefs, my value system. Over the years, it hasn't changed. Look at it this way. Would you rather I change who I am because of what happened? If yes, tell me. I'll put that into consideration.


A few disclaimers. When I say hurt myself, it's more along the lines of bearing the emotions that come with the decision I make and the stand I take. Yeps. The few of you should be able to tell what I'm talking about in this note. And the question goes out to you all. I would like to know your answer. Thanks. =)

Labels: recount

---

{colourgenics result}
Tried out this colourgenics test and this was the result... My personal comments are in italics. Mhmm.


At this particular time you are feeling the results of extreme stress and you are seeking a 'way out' but you are pushing too hard. Obviously you need peace, tranquillity and contentment. Your temperament is such that you are hoping, unrealistically perhaps, that your desires will shortly be fulfilled (even if at this time you are not quite sure what those true aspirations may be!).
Hmm... How true? Haha. But a few questions for myself. Am I pushing too hard? Am I hoping unrealistically?


You dislike playing the field in every sense of the word. When you develop a relationship it needs to be a close fulfilling one, one that has deep meaning for all parties concerned.
Lol. Haha. I think I don't really need to comment on this? All those who know me well should know whether or not this is true.


All the problems that you have been experiencing of late seem to have become a part of your life and there is little that can be done to change the situation. Your emotions run high - but even though you feel as if at times you are about to burst, this situation will pass. Try to release your pent-up emotions by participating in some extra physical activities like running, swimming, whatever. There must be some favourite pastime, not necessarily strenuous, that can help you to relax.
Hmm. I like the first two lines? How to release pent-up emotions? Maybe I should take the advice given and go running/swimming. Not such a bad idea. Now if only I can find time... Actually, if I have time for myself, I'll be able to relax already.


All of the stress and strains resulting from disappointment have led to agitation and anxiety. You have been going out of your way to make a good impression, but you have reservations as to the likelihood of succeeding. You feel that you have a right to accomplish all that you set your mind on but you have become helpless and distressed when circumstances have gone against you. The idea of failure is most upsetting and this can even mean utter dejection. You see yourself as a scapegoat and you feel everyone in your sphere of influence has tried to take undue advantage of you. You are trying to convince yourself that your failure to achieve standing and recognition is not of your making but indeed of those around you.
I think the first line is quite true? But the rest of it is just inaccurate. I guess failure doesn't affect me that badly. And I really don't think that everyone in my sphere of influence has taken undue advantage of me. My failure is not due to those around me. Yeps. This is the one paragraph I really disagree with.


Since in the recent past all of your hopes and aspirations have been denied you, you are now convinced that the future will hold nothing but anxiety so therefore 'why bother?' You would love to get away from it all, to escape from the trials and tribulations of this mundane existence and fall into a peaceful and harmonious relationship, which will protect you from the lack of appreciation and give you the chance to start afresh.
As if. The first line is so not true. The future holds so much more for me. But yes, I would love to take a break and get away from everything and rest, then after I'm refreshed, I'll face everything once more. Yeps. What lack of appreciation? I disagree. There are still people who take the effort to appreciate me for my actions and in a way, that refreshes me?


Hmm.. I think that's enough analysis of the results? =p Yeps. I shall go on to my next blog entry topic. =)

Labels: quiz questions

---

{old entries}
I confuse myself a lot. It's normally not a smart move to read old blog entries but ya, I felt like reading through blog entries today so yeps..


Surprisingly, my mood was still normal after reading various blog entries? Except that at times, I had no idea what I was reading. As in, I couldn't remember what was it that I blog about. Lol.


Hmm... Didn't just read my previous blog entries. But yes, I confuse myself. I have no idea what prompted this whole reading of entries. And I have no idea why I didn't have the normal reaction. Interesting...


Ok. I'm just blogging about random stuff cause I'm in the mood to blog but have no idea what to blog about. =p


Ohh! I've gained weight. Does that mean all of you will finally stop making me eat more? Nah... Not a chance. But yeps, I guess my metabolism has fallen or I've been snacking too much. Think it's the latter. =p


Whee! New songs in my MP3 player. But prior to that, had to go through the agonizing process of deciding which songs to delete. >.< Bah. Oh well. But sorry mei, I think most of the songs in my player would still fall under your definition of "emo". Lol.


Waiting for tomorrow. It should prove interesting. Or at least, blog-worthy. I wonder why? Lol. The few of you in school will find out tomorrow. Yeps. =)

---

{joys in my life}
Hmm. I really like the past week? To be really precise, there were various incidences that made me smile quite a bit. I've already blogged a bit about tuesday so time to move on to wednesday.


Hmph. Mei left me halfway during physics. But AXIS was rather fun? Heehee. Yeps, I can't be a forensic scientist though. Our group only managed to identify 7 out of the 10 powders. Then after that, Christian Fellowship! =) Actually, there was something else before CF that made me smile but that's for me to know and up to you if you want to find out. =p Lol.


Yay! I'm really thankful for the time of sharing that we had during CF. I didn't really have anything specific planned in mind apart from a few questions and activities for the group. But the flow of conversation was really surprising. Touched on quite a few topics. Thank You God for leading the sharing! =) Mhmm. Wednesday's CF was really enjoyable and it brings a smile to my face when I think abou it. It's only the 5th session but it's already changed a lot from our first meeting. Mhmm.


Thursday... Hmm. Not much happened? Ohh. Just realized that I'm temporarily in charge of Journalism since the Year 5s are excused from CCA. Oh well. I'm excused from writing articles but for some weird reason, I want to complete one last article first. Yeps. After CCA, went off for dental before meeting my parents. Went to pick up Jon from HPPS. Ahh... I miss those primary school days. Lol. Must find time to go back and talk to the teachers! >.< Need to go back for my dose of lectures. Lol. After that, went to church for Maundy Thursday service. Hmm... Throughout the service, I kept thinking about Timeless. Ohh! Just change topic. Went for supper. Ended up eating one plate of bee hoon + 2 and one third chicken wing. Go figure how I got the 1/3. Lol.


Hmm. Friday. Turned down the chance to go east coast. =( Homework. But anyway, ended up sleeping til 12 noon or so? >.< Oh well. Ended up not doing any work. Left the house and met mel for dinner at Holland V. Yay! Sammi came and joined us. 1 out of 2 isn't that bad. =) Made our way to church for Timeless... Honestly, I think I cry too easily. The real-life accounts were just so touching. There's one more thing about me that makes going for special events a bit unbearable. There's always this thought, "What if ... was here. This would apply to ... so much." Throughout the years, I've thought this way many times and various names would be filled into the blank. Oh well. I'm thankful that at least, there was 1 less name in that blank since sammi went. Thanks girl. =) But ya... There were various people who I wished could have made it. Never mind. There's always next time, ya? =) Stayed out a bit more and had supper with mel and sammi. What did I get myself into ah? >.< Oh well.


Today. Got woken up by mummy asking if I wanted to go to a booksale. Normally, the automatic response is yes but what with homework and me being really sleepy, I fell back asleep. Fortunately, changed my mind and decided to go. It was held at Expo... >.< The other side of the island. How I wish that a few of you went with me. I need more pairs of eyes! Sadly, didn't find any book I want. I'm serious. Only bought 1 CD for myself... Realized that I think of my friends way too much. Apart from wanting various people at the book fair, I was also looking out for things for my friends. Hint. The CD wasn't the only thing I bought. Yeps. Oh well. Had to spend the budget my mum gave me, ya? Lol.


Ok. I better get back to work. Sighs. I want to watch the Saturday Night movie. But it's a more logical move not to. Not just cause of the homework but also cause that show would bring me back to the past. Lol. Not literally, of course. I want to sleep! Wait. Change sleep to rest. =p Actually, let's be greedy. I want to sleep and I want to rest. Ok ok. I'm just rambling now... >.< Hmph. Dislikes concerts. Steal people away from me. Haha. Yeps. My "siblings" are all at this concert. Bah. Ok ok. Chermy, stop rambling! Ok. Now I'm talking to myself. =p Oops?

Labels: recount

---

{little things}
Today was a good day. Things happened that I didn't expect yet I don't really mind? A lot of unexpected stuff happened but as I said, I didn't mind and in fact, it kind of brightened my day?


Started off the day really, really sleepy. Yeps. Considering that I only had around 3 and a half hour of sleep? Laadeedaas. Lol. Ok. I'm going to be in bed by 12 today so that's a distinct improvement. =) Anyway, back to my day. I'll just fast-foward to lunch? Ok. Sorry mei for abandoning you but ya, you know where I went and why I went away. Disclaimer: I wasn't being moody. Read a few entries before to find out why I wanted to be alone during lunch. Ok. Wait. Instead of making people scroll down, I'll be nice. I'll state my reasons once more. Intending to do a one meal fast for three days. Started today. So during lunch, I go to some corner of the school and just focus on seeking God and being in His presence. Today was much needed... No, I didn't get the answers to my questions but rather I was renewed once more. And God reminded me of some stuff... Yeps. Kind of like a warning? Oh well. Then two unexpected incidents. Lol. As unexpected as they were, I really don't mind similar incidents. Don't believe that it was by chance that those things happened. Yeps.


Then after school, decided to spoil myself and headed to the library. Borrowed two more books. Pft. I have to resort to pulling out random books liao. All the books that I'm looking for aren't on the shelves. Or I've read all the books by the author. Annoying. =p Haha. Shall wait for awhile and start on Mercedes Lackey again. Provided I get around to finishing the stories that I have in soft copy. =p Went back home and yet another surprise. Yeps. My reaction was pretty amusing if I can say so myself. =p Mhmm. Then let myself slack the afternoon away. Mhmm. Yeps. =p


Better go off now. Don't want a repeat of me oversleeping. =p Oops? Goodnight everyone. Hmm. Some people are going to be surprised tomorrow. =p

Labels: recount

---

{late night}
I should get to sleep? Attempting to finish up one last piece of homework first though... Mhmm.


I realized that I was 30 minutes away from breaking my two twix a day rule. Lol. Ate one at 12:34 so it was the next time so new rations allowed. =) Lol. Hmm... Whenever things pick up slightly, then they go back down again? But at least, there are still relatively high points. They keep me going. Along with my daily dose of faith and hope. Twix too? Mhmm... Lol.


Going to start my fast today. I'm really praying that nothing crops up during lunch. I want to just spend lunch being in God's presence and hopefully, hear His voice. I need guidance, direction, strenght, assurance and many other things... To be renewed once more. Yeps. Think I better go sleep now. After all, I tell people to take care, sleep early so I better do that too. Mhmm. Disclaimer: was staying up for work. Yeps.

---

{twix makes my day}
Whee! I've got two and a half packs of twix left at home. Whee! I think I'm being addicted to twix. Once I start, it takes lots of willpower to stop. Heehee. Guess I'm just following the stereotype of girls liking chocolate and eating it a lot? =p Mhmm. Then again, that's pretty normal. Lol. Ate two yesterday while attempting to do homework. Then ate one just now. I'm trying to limit myself to two a day... But honestly, I think that's not possible? =p


Haha. Anyway, shall do a quick recount of yesterday and today. Hmm. Didn't manage to do much homework yesterday. Oh well. Service was different. The various ministries set up booths and we were asked to walk around finding out more about the ministries and maybe even join one. Used to be in drama&dance but stopped going since late last year. I've been thinking about joining a ministry again but which one? I'll list all down first... Worship. Genesis. Ignyte Host. Celebration Host. Tech team. Prayer Task Force. Dance.


Worship's out cause I can't play drums. My singing is ... Let's just say that's not an option. =p Keyboard... Can't. Guitar. Uhhuh. Right. Not yet anyway. So ya... Might consider joining worship some time in the future but not anytime soon. Mhmm.
Genesis. Possible. Decoration. Graphic Design. Photography. Areas that I enjoy doing. So ya... But somehow, there's this hesitation.
Ignyte host. Talk to the first time visitors after service. 0.0 I'm not sure... Possible but it depends.
Celebration host. Nah... Somehow I don't think that's for me.
Tech team. I've not much interest in it honestly. So ya... Except maybe RGB?
Prayer Task Force. Possible. That's one option I'm seriously considering.
Dance. I've tried it and that's not really the area for me?


Hmm. I'm not going to jump into making a choice anytime soon. This is one area that I want a clear assurance from God before I make any decision.


Skipped FUEL and went to Great World City with my family and some of my mum's friends. Yeps. Hmm. Not much to blog about? Wait. I take that back. Lol. Mum was passing some photos around. I thought it was of the Chiangmai trip only then I saw this photo that had a lot of red and white... Anyone got it yet? Next hint. White skirt. Red jacket. There. Yeps. I can't believe I didn't see the photos before?! Oh well. Just looked through them. To you 3, I can spot all of you in various photos even though my uncle focused on me. Yeps. Rofl. I am amused. I am not going to show the photos to people unless you're like one of the selected few. Mhmm. Ohh! There's like the pictures of me in a dress. Once for elmi jie jie's engagement and once for a wedding. Lol.


I want to go Great World City again! There's this nice, big Christian bookshop which was closed by the time we finished dinner. >.< So couldn't walk around the shop. Bah. Then the kids went to the arcade so tagged along. Was helping my bro play those games and earn some tickets. Got permission to try out DDR. Bah. The machine was kind of sad? Yeps. Oh well. DDR's not enjoyable unless it's challenging. So ya. But nevermind. Don't intend to go to the arcade there. I rather walk around the place. Lots of nice shops. I think. Based on looking at the directory. Lol. Anyone up for joining me? Heehee. Actually, that question isn't a question. Those who I do go out with, be prepared for me pestering you all to go there. =p Yeps.


Came home and attempted homework. Note the use of the word "attempted"? Lol. Ended up staying up quite late but didn't really finish that much homework. Oh well. Heehee.


Hmm... I'll make it public on my blog so that I would have to be accountable. Intending to do a three-day liquid fast from tuesday to thursday. Would start it tomorrow but since lunch is taken up by physics make-up lesson, there's no point fasting. Let me make it clear first. I am not neglecting my health. I intend to eat during recess and at dinner. But I'm just not going to eat during lunch. Instead, I'll try to find someplace in school to be alone and just spend time in God's presence. There are some questions that I'm seeking answers to. And apart from that, I'm praying that God will intervene in various situations. My church's Easter event is coming up and I'm really hoping that various people can make it. Normally, that wouldn't be possible but then again, faith and hope has been what keeps me believing. No reason to stop, ya? There.


Time for dinner. Then back to work.

Labels: recount

---

{in need of rest}
I think the lack of rest is affecting my tolerance level. Normally, I wouldn't be as irritated at things as I have been the past two days.


But ya, yesterday was a day I would gladly go without.


Let's see. Some people should know what I wasn't really looking forward to yesterday. Yeps. Then after that, it was so tired. Behaving like someone I'm not really drains me. I rarely, if never, behave like that. It's just not me. But I had to go ahead with it anyway. My fault. So ya... Was just sitting there and watching it rain. As much I wanted to go into the rain, that would attract way too much attention and I would have gotten "killed" by mei and nes. Sighs. But yes, was really, really drained.


During art, I was just focusing on making a prototype and tried not to think too much about stuff. I guess it was one of the few times that I didn't cringe at using a penknife? Disclaimer: I was cutting cardboard and tape with the penknife, nothing else. Yeps. So ya. Then chinese, followed by physics. Rushed home after physics for a massage session. =p Yeps, I'm getting spoilt.


Massage session. Oh well. My neck and shoulders were really aching so was in need of massage. Then my grandaunt was massaging my thigh and it was so painful! Ouch. Painful to the point that tears came to my eyes. She says it's cause I walk a lot. So I guess there's not much I can do about it? But ouch... That was painful. Shoulder area a bit more relaxed but still quite tense. Oh well. Better than nothing.


Today... Really sleepy. Throughout Journalism, I was so tempted to put my head down on the table and sleep. That bad. Mhmm. Guess I'll give Survivor a miss for this week. Not going to stay up... Shall clear some homework first before I sleep though. Yeps. That's all.

Labels: recount

---